She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize