I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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