You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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