We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
