I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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