I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize