He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
