it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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