party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him