What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
this just has baby written all over it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize