i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
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The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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