i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
