He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
