I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
