this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
