So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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