my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
