your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
