so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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