nut hugger
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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