k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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