I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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