nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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