It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
