The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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