Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
