why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
