I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
