I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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