Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
