at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
