My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
