i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
