Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you will always have a special place in my vag
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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