i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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