True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
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I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
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I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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