I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
