This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm sobbing to NWA
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
