I'm passing your future prison.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
