So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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