Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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