nut hugger
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
