we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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