Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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