If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
