My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
FUCK WHALES
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
