it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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