the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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