So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
