eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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