Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
