Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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