the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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