Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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