and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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