my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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