On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
