You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
