Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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