it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
