I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
