One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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