That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
